How to Find the Right Therapist for You – Self-Reflection Checklist

In recent years, more people in Korean communities have begun to pay attention to mental health and therapy.
However, some delay seeking help because they don’t know how to choose a therapist,
while others start without much guidance and end up meeting a therapist who isn’t the right fit. sometimes even leaving with more emotional hurt.

This guide was written for those who want to begin therapy but want to be sure they find the right person.

Reminder
This checklist is not a standardized psychological test.
It is an informal self-reflection guide designed to help you notice your impressions, comfort level, and needs when meeting a therapist for the first time.
Use it as a gentle prompt to guide your decision.

Why “Fit” Matters

Research shows that 30–40% of therapy outcomes are influenced by the quality of the therapeutic alliance including the sense of safety, trust, and connection between client and therapist.

In other words, more than the techniques used, the feeling of safety and mutual trust is the strongest predictor of positive change.

I see therapy not as an hour long weekly conversation, but as a shared journey toward shaping YOUR life’s direction.
Below is a checklist you can use during your first session(or 15mins free consolation) to explore whether a therapist might be a good fit for you.

1. Therapy Style & Connection

Why it matters: Early rapport creates the emotional safety needed to share openly, even about difficult topics.

1. They listen to your story fully, without rushing.
   (Strong Yes ☐ Yes ☐ Neutral ☐ No ☐ Strong No ☐)

2. Their questions are thoughtful but not overwhelming.
   (Strong Yes ☐ Yes ☐ Neutral ☐ No ☐ Strong No ☐)

3. Your culture, identity, and values feel respected.
   (Strong Yes ☐ Yes ☐ Neutral ☐ No ☐ Strong No ☐)

4. They can adapt to your preferred style (deep exploration vs. practical solutions).
   (Strong Yes ☐ Yes ☐ Neutral ☐ No ☐ Strong No ☐)

2. Expertise & Experience

Why it matters: A therapist should understand not only theory and techniques, but also the context of your life.

1. They have experience with your concerns (e.g., trauma, identity, anxiety).
   (Strong Yes ☐ Yes ☐ Neutral ☐ No ☐ Strong No ☐)

2. They are sensitive to your background (e.g., immigration, language, community).
   (Strong Yes ☐ Yes ☐ Neutral ☐ No ☐ Strong No ☐)

3. Their explanations are clear and make sense to you.
   (Strong Yes ☐ Yes ☐ Neutral ☐ No ☐ Strong No ☐)

4. Their chosen therapeutic approach (e.g., ACT, Gestalt) feels relevant to your situation.
   (Strong Yes ☐ Yes ☐ Neutral ☐ No ☐ Strong No ☐)

3. Practical Fit

Why it matters: Logistical and procedural alignment makes therapy sustainable over time.

1. Session length, frequency, and cost are realistic for you.
   (Strong Yes ☐ Yes ☐ Neutral ☐ No ☐ Strong No ☐)

2. Insurance coverage or payment options are clear.
   (Strong Yes ☐ Yes ☐ Neutral ☐ No ☐ Strong No ☐)

3. Crisis contact and safety procedures are well-defined.
   (Strong Yes ☐ Yes ☐ Neutral ☐ No ☐ Strong No ☐)

4. Record-keeping and privacy policies are explained clearly.
   (Strong Yes ☐ Yes ☐ Neutral ☐ No ☐ Strong No ☐)

4. First Impressions & Intuition

Why it matters: Your gut sense of safety and trust is a powerful indicator of relationship quality.

1. You feel safe with this person deep down.
   (Strong Yes ☐ Yes ☐ Neutral ☐ No ☐ Strong No ☐)

2. You leave the conversation feeling lighter.
   (Strong Yes ☐ Yes ☐ Neutral ☐ No ☐ Strong No ☐)

3. You have a genuine desire to keep working with them.
   (Strong Yes ☐ Yes ☐ Neutral ☐ No ☐ Strong No ☐)

4. If there is discomfort, you can name the reason.
   (Strong Yes ☐ Yes ☐ Neutral ☐ No ☐ Strong No ☐)

How to Use This Checklist

• If “Yes” or “Strongly Yes” appears in about 70% or more of the items, the fit is likely strong.

• If you have many “Neutral” or “No” responses, bring these up in your next session or compare with another therapist.

• Respect both your reasoning and your intuition—sometimes your heart knows before your mind does.

Psychologist Note

A good therapist is a partner who walks alongside you for part of your life journey.
It does not have to perfect. Yet, it is about feeling safe enough and respected enough.
If those qualities are present, you may already be on the right path.